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Crown of love

Photo by ivivalamolly

I am a 20-year-old woman who a lot of the time feels inadequate: too hairy, too short, too big, too busted up and broken out…. those thoughts slowly eat away at me. The truth is that I’m healthy: there’s nothing significantly wrong with me but still I’m plagued with insecurities. As an artist- someone who lives for the pursuit of beauty- how can I stand the inevitable shortcomings of my own body?

This feeling seems loathsomely tied to the female experience; we are told from a very young age that to be loved we must first tame our bodies: fit them into the feminine ideal that is so conveniently laid out by fashion magazines; then and only then are we worthy of love. This system sets us up for inevitable failure before we’ve even begun.

My mother suffered from an eating disorder in her teens: running 6 or 7 miles a day, cutting out sugar entirely, and counting every single calorie that passed her lips. She is a strong, talented, and beautiful lady who still struggles with low self-esteem.

How do we fight this? One of the things that helps me when I feel unlovable is to think of the people I love the most: I don’t love them based on their relative attractiveness, I love them for who they are! How perfectly they fit in my life and how they support me when I need them. I guess it comes down to believing that you are enough just as you are and you are worthy of love just as you are.

Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect. There is some work that will never be done if you don’t do it. There is someone who would miss you if you were gone. There is a place that you alone can fill. ~Jacob M. Braude

Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown.  ~Author Unknown

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About rosebeerhorst

My name is Rose Beerhorst I'm 20, I love working with my hands whether that means crafting, gardening, or cooking. I've always dreamed a little too big for my own good!

5 responses »

  1. Rose this is a super beautiful post – this is something i still suffer with, even in my late 20’s. i think the biggest problem is the need to be continually affirmed by others, especially men, as many many women do (which is an ENTIRELY different discussion). I have my good seasons and my bad seasons, but all in all i’ve at least been able to develop a way to be comfortable in my own skin (most of the time 😉

    thanks for sharing ❤

    -Rachel

    Reply
  2. So beautiful, Rose. I know how you feel, but eventually, you start to settle into our own skin, and thing start feeling natural and good.

    xoxo

    Reply
  3. Rose, you aren’t the only one with feelings like that. I was JUST thinking how I wish I could be a good artist…and how I wish I could drop some weight. I think we will always have feelings like this..we just have to set them aside, and try to do things to make ourselves feel better. You’re a beautiful talented woman, just remember that is how other people see you!
    (((Hugs)))
    Yvette

    Reply
  4. Wow I love this post! I agree with you 100%. Bookmarking this blog for sure.

    Reply
  5. This is a late comment, but, many girls could so relate to this. Even myself. Except that I am much to lazy to exercise. But I do count every single calorie I eat and try to cut sugar out my diet. It is beautiful how you love your friends and family based on who they are, not on what they look like, because that is how it really is suppose to be. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post. I’m sure you are a wonderful person inside out. 🙂

    Reply

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